Okay, my boyfriend and I are splitting up. Although he is not the bio-dad, he has been in my daughter's life since she was 7 months old and is definitely her daddy in her eye's and mine and his. She is 3 and a half now. We will be moving out by the end of this month and so far it has been pretty easy. I have really talked up the new place and gotten her excited about having a new room with her own bathroom. However, I know she doesn't really fully understand what is going on. Of course, what I am dreading is the day it does hit her. She will be crushed and I just don't know what to say to her, how to lessen the blow. Any thoughts or suggestions?

Gabby,
I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I'm not sure there is any easy way out here. More than anything, just assure her that the move has nothing to do with her. I'm sure the worst part is going to be about 3 or 4 days into the move when she starts asking for him or wants to know when he is going to be home. Try to mentally prepare yourself for this question so you don't lose it emotionally and have an answer that is on a level that she will comprehend. Be sympathetic to her emotions as well. Just because you and him are splitting doesn't mean that she needs to take sides or love one of you more than the other. Answer as many questions as you have to and even though it is going to be hurting you to answer them, try to be compassionate. Kids are extremely inquisitive but hopefully you won't have to endure days or weeks of repetitive questions. Hang in there girl and keep your head up. Remeber those little eyes are watching your every action and reaction in hopes that she can mold herself into the person she so loves and admires.

Great advice LDE!!! I wish you the best Gabby!!

Thanks girls! And thanks for the advice lde. It's definitely not something I'm looking forward to. I can handle the pain and hurt that I'm going through, it's just killing me to think of what she will have to handle. I almost feel guilty that I brought someone into her life that she has gotten so attached to and now they're leaving and she is going to have to face that. Makes me want to never get envolved with anyone again until she's on her own. I know that's not being realistic, and I'm sure that's just my maternal instincts wanting to protect her and shelter her as much as possible. I know it's just something we'll have to get through together.

Is it out of the question for your ex to stay in her life? I'm not sure if that's a great idea but that way she can see that it's not an issue with her it's an issue with mom. He could take her to eat or to the movies or something. That might be too confusing for a 3 year old though.

What do you guys think? I'm one for clean breaks but I didn't have children when I was in that situation.

I agree with Lde. A child will only be as strong as their parent is. If she sees you breaking down, or losing control, she probably will too. If you feel like you're going to lose it, try to redirect her attention for a few minutes and answer her after you're in control. Your strength will give her security. She will probably feel insecure for a while and she will need that extra security from Mom. She needs to know that Mom is in control and can take care of her. I feel that I failed miserably in this area with mine. But years and experience have taught me a lot. You'll do fine. Just keep her routine as normal as possible. Kids need that structure too.

I will keep you in my prayers. You always have your Baytown BB family when you need some company or someone to lean on.